Universities are fantasy lands.

College is not the real world.

Nor does it prepare you for it.

Professors yell lethal nonsense and “Epic Brazilian Poetry 101” is not education.

It’s procrastination.

Stop procrastinating and step into the bright light of reality.

The light is harsh.

It burns the skin.

For example, your roommate dipped.

And he “forgot” to tell you that he hasn’t paid rent in six months.

Whoopsie.

Your landlord is at the door.

Clenched fists. Teeth grinding away.

Your landlord’s a big guy.

“Pay up or get out.”

This is all happening so fast. What to do?

And tell me . . .

. . . how is that “19th Century American Literature” class benefiting you now?

Remember that class?

Mark Twain’s real name was Samuel Langhorne Clemens.

Wow. What a fascinating nugget of literary trivia.

Of course, you could have learned it online or at the library for free.

And of course, the information would not have been tainted by the fussy gullet of a self-loathing, limp-wristed, self-described feminist.

Remember him?

The guy who was regularly bullied by his wife and female coworkers and demanded to be called “Doctor”.

You know, the guy who told you that rich people are evil while simultaneously demanding you give him a bunch of money so he could tell you that white-male privilege killed the dinosaurs.

He made you well-rounded, that guy.

Step into the light.

Start working. Get promoted. Argue with your boss. Get fired. Find another gig.

Start a side hustle and then start another one.

Get your heart broken and break one back.

Fight.

Travel.

Tell your landlord to eat dick.

“Sir, put your hands behind your head and step away from the fantasy land.”

Step into the light.

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