“Hey Aakari, do I have what it takes to be a killer door-to-door salesman?”

That’s a fine question.

And I’m going to answer it with some fine questions of my own:

How do you handle rejection, disrespect, angry housewives, nosy police officers and incorrigible nut cases? Does it all roll off your back like a cool April rain?

Do you enjoy conflict? Competition?

Do you appreciate a male-dominated work environment?

Could your social/persuasive skills use a tune up?

Would you like to learn more about human nature in two weeks than you ever could during four years of sociology courses at an ivy league university?

Do you have 2-3 years walking experience?


I believe there is a killer salesman inside of you.

Hit the streets, young man.

And take these five tips with you.

These five tips could mean the difference between success and distress.

1. Play the Numbers

Knock every door within driving distance of your knuckles.

Contacts = sales. Sales = $ in your pocket.


My coworkers knock 60 doors a day.

I knock 120.

Do likewise. You’re a rookie and you’re skill is low, so your will must be sky-high.

My sales manager called me “Burner” because I burned through routes at twice the speed of my coworkers. “Burner” quickly turned into “Rookie of the Year”. “Rookie of the Year” become “The Future”, as in the future of the company.

Coworkers tease me for trying so hard.

“Dude, I only knock 30 doors a day, tops, and I still get my sales. If I knocked as many doors as you I’d get 20 sales a week.”

Big whoop.

Guys can talk shit until they’re blue in the face (and they will). It doesn’t bother my one iota.

I got a raise and a promotion in less than ten months. They got an Easter basket full of goose eggs.

Let’s review: #s = sales = $ =  success = confidence = more sales = more $ and on and on.

Knock your sack off. It’s not optional. It is too beneficial to be optional.

2. Smile

Go to your bathroom mirror.

I want you to practice your “I come in peace but I am not to be fucked with.” smile.

It requires full facial participation. Fell the skin of your forehead stretch. Fell your eye muscles tighten. (It’s called smiling with your eyes). Feel your cheeks drift toward your ears. Let your lips curl into a semi-mischievous smirk.

The “I come in peace but I am not to be fucked with” smile could also be named the “I know something you don’t know smile”.

It is far superior to the “I come in peace so please do not yell at me” smile which is defined by a timid/wooden grin and limp muscles in the northern hemisphere of the head.

Still, the “I come in peace so please do not yell at me smile” is better than no smile.

I train guys.

All day I tell them, “You have to start smiling. You’re knocking on their door, out of the blue, during dinner and you want their money. The least you can do is smile.”

When the customer swings open that front door, the first thing they should see is your pearly whites.

That smile could mean the difference between “Where do I sign?” and “Get the hell off my property.”

No one wants to buy a damn thing from Cement Face McGillicuddy.

3. Stop Smiling So Much

Give your lips a rest after you melt the customers initial annoyance with a warm smile.

You need to come across friendly. You also need to come across as someone who is to be taken seriously. Beta males smile at every meaningless syllable that leaves the mouth of women and alpha males.

It’s weak. Your reptilian brain is subconsciously communicating to the world that you’re a good little boy, and you don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.

Instead, keep 1/4 of a smirk on your face during the majority of the conversation.

Just a smidgen of a grin.

Remember, you’re happy, not needy.

4. Be a Copy Cat

Steal pitches and lines from the best guys in your office.

There is no shame in doing this.

A big black guy named Derrick trained me. I noticed that he always smirked and said, “Hey, young lady.” Whenever a woman over the age of forty answered the door.

That line has been gold for me.

The “I want to buy your product but I have to speak with my wife/husband/daughter/who-the-hell-ever” objection might be the most common and difficult roadblock that salesman run into when trying to close a customer.

Tiffany, a former coworker, had an interesting way of clearing this hurdle.

“Really? That’s so surprising to me. I thought you were the king/queen running things around here.”

I use that line like it’s going out of style. It works.

You’re going to come up with your own lines through improvisation. You’re going to discover your own style through experience and trial and error.

Mix your original material with the little nuggets you learn from veterans along the way.


Watch great sales movies like The Wolf of Wall Street and Boiler Room for more ideas.

5. Don’t Care (but really do)

If you can master this last tip everything else will fall into place.

Unfortunately, putting this piece of advice into easy-to-understand words is difficult.

It’s abstract. Counter-intuitive. Ugly.

Fact: People hate to help other people.

There is nothing on this planet that could ever inspire more contempt and disgust in so many people (especially women) than a needy man.

The best way to get the sale is to not want it.

How do you think a salesman responds to rejection after he closed the last 10 customers he spoke to?

He cracks jokes. Flirts. Teases and brags.

He makes random comments about the customers car or pet or hair.

That’s how I want you to interact with every customer.

I want you to respond in such a way that the customer understands that buying the product will not help you.

A credit card number will not improve your life.

Nor will it excite you.

You are not here to make money. You are here because this is where you want to be.

You are here because it doesn’t matter where you are because everywhere you are is awesome because you are awesome.

Now, hit the streets you freak,

Askari Rey.