Askari Rey


February 2015

How to Be a Sales Champ Part 11: Temporary Deafness

ABPB1R / Man Covering His Ears

Belligerent customers are difficult to turn around.

When Mrs. Jones is screeching “I will skinny dip in a pond of raging magma before I do business with Lawn Pimps!” don’t waste your time.

Why haggle with losers when there are pleasant people who will benefit from your product/service?

When normal customers protest it is to everyone’s advantage that you catch a case of temporary deafness. So, Mrs. Stradt is saying “I’m not interested. I can’t afford it.” and you don’t hear shit. You have a rare disease called Salesitis. The main symptom of this disease is a mysterious clogging of the ears every time a customer says “no”.

Which is for the greater good, because “not interested” doesn’t mean “not interested”. “Not interested” means “I don’t believe I will benefit from your product or service.”

Clearing up this miscommunication is a two-step process.

  1. Go deaf
  2. Build value

Salesitis in action:

Mrs. Stradt: “I just can’t see $600 to have the lawn taken care of.”

Salesitis Victim: “I totally get where you’re coming from, Mrs. Stradt. I would have said the same thing before I became involved with Lawn Pimps. However, once you understand everything that will be going into your service and the all of the value you’re going to receive it will be clear to see that we could easily be charging $1,000 for this service and the customer would still come out the winner in the end. Now, moving forward I’m going to be in charge of your account this year and I will make sure that you receive the best lawn care this year.”

Show me a sales champ and I will show you a man who hears what he wants.


How to Be a Sales Champ Part 10: Break It Down Now


Some customers feel demoralized after you dump a large sum in their lap.

$64.00 an application sounds reasonable. $448.00 a year may send her into a scamper.

Worry not. Your words are green house gases. The price is the ozone layer.

Break it down now.

“$448.00 a year is $1.22 a day. If you’re like most people I know, you spend more than that on your morning coffee. Mrs. Dawson, you would give another dollar and twenty two cents a day to have a splendid, blooming lawn instead of just a yard, wouldn’t you?”

Put things in perspective for her.

Those boots don’t cost $90.00. They cost ¢.12 a day over the next two years.

How to Be a Sales Champ Part 9: Shame Makes Sales


Don’t be afraid to imply that your customer is a cheap bastard. This technique works best when coupled with the suggestion that your customer’s refusal to part with her money will cost her in the long run.

“Okay Mrs. Shayk, I just wanted you to experience something really special this season, but we’ll go for something cheap.”

You’ll be surprised how much money people will spend not to feel embarrassed.

Inspired by Zig Ziglar.

How to Be a Sales Champ Part 7: Bullets In Your Magazine


Fielding objections is repetitive.

Pretend you sell motorcycles.

Everyday you hear customers make statements like:

“I need a bike with more horsepower.”

“This motorcycle is too expensive.”

“I’m going to buy this bike but I have to wait until I get my tax returns.”

Every product and service comes with a finite list of objections for the customer to choose from.

For example, gun salesmen hear the phrase “I cannot buy this gun because the ammo is too expensive.” a lot.

However, gun salesmen do not hear the phrase “I cannot buy this gun because raw onions give me heartburn.” a lot.

You’re a salesman. You WILL face objections. You WILL  face the EXACT SAME objections again and again and again and again.

Keep your magazine stocked with bullets and you will torpedo objections out of existence like so many lame ducks.

Objection: Call me back in Spring

Response: I know it sounds crazy to talk about the lawn now, but we need to do the scheduling now to ensure that we put down the right products at the right time. A the best application is a timely application. Also, we have the best prices of the season right now.

Objection: I can’t afford it.

Response: I completely understand. Times are tough. I’m on a budget too. But just like a car, your lawn is something that needs to be maintained; if it doesn’t get treated it will cost more money in the long run. I am going to help you out with the price today.

Objection: I didn’t see any difference when you guys treated my lawn.

Response: I am really sorry to hear that. (Profile to discover exact issues) Moving forward, the service we do for you has free service calls. Which means we will come out in-between scheduled visits to retreat any issues that you have. That’s the Lawn Pimp Guarantee.

Objection: The technician didn’t treat my lawn!

Response: I’m sorry about that. Did you see results from the area that wasn’t treated? That’s not typical of our 10 yer state certified techs. The way our techs work is, they start in the furthest point in the back and work their way forward, moving at a very quick pace o the product is applied properly.

Objection: Lawn Pimps burned grass!

Response: I am really sorry to hear that. Which part of the lawn did you say was burnt? When did it happen?

Objection: I have a different company.

Response: I am sorry to hear that. Why did you decide to go with them?

Objection: I’m getting a better price from Turf Ballers.

Response: I’m not going to be the cheapest price out there but I will deliver the best results out there. That would be worth the price difference, right?

Objection: I want to do it myself.

Response: Perfect! You are the type of person that I would like to work with. You can still cut the grass and make sure it’s watered. But you are limited to the product you can buy in the store. The products you get in the store are not designed for your environment We also guarantee our work.

Objection: I’m moving.

Response: That’s great and I hope that you are moving on to bigger and better things. But knowing how long it take to sell a house and how important curb appeal is to a property, you need maintain the lawn until you move.

. . .

There is a time and a place for improvisation: After you close.

Objection are as predictable as the rising sun and there is no excuse to not be ready for them.

How to Be a Sales Champ Part 6: Easy Does It


No man blossoms into Closeidon, the Greek god of sale, instantly.

All great men traveled the same elementary path to success:

  1. Learn the basics/gather information
  2. Apply knowledge
  3. Pinpoint weaknesses
  4. Focus on one weakness until fixed
  5. Move on to next weakness
  6. Repeat 4 & 5 until your are bulletproof

Enjoy this elaboration:

  1. You apply for a sales gig upon realizing that $money$ equals pleasure. A handful of blogs/ books equip you with fundamentals. Movies (Boiler Room, Glenn Garry, Glenn RossWall StreetWolf of Wall Street) supply entertainment/inspiration. Your new employer provides material and role playing sessions and you take advantage. Laying groundwork will be the shortest chapter in From Half-Pint to Fat Cat, your autobiography, and you know this because you’re a sharp man. No one pays people to prepare.
  2. Take your new know-how for a spin. Open customers. Deal with objections. Make progress. Get rejected. Play the numbers. Gain comfort. Go for the kill. Eat dirt.
  3. After several weeks of note-taking and recording sales pitches you have pinpointed your weaknesses. You talk too fast, objections agitate you and you waver come close time.
  4. For an entire two weeks (but probably more) you solely focus on speaking  slowly. Forget objections and forget closing. Words will reach your customers via turtleback and nothing else matter.  Speak at 6,000 frames per second until the motor in your mouth has grown rusty and crippled from lack of use.
  5. Move on to next weakness (overcoming objections).
  6. Repeat 5 & 6.

It’s funny. Attacking one weakness will strengthen seemingly unrelated areas of your swag factor.

Be reflective as you change. Grow skill, not ego. Small minded people will hunt for a shortcut to The Promise Land.

Real adults take baby steps.

How to Be a Sales Champ Part 5: Wrap It Up


Always urge the customer to pay upfront (option 3).

If your customer is broke, do everything you can to secure a debit card or checking account number so you can collect your payment once the service is rendered (option 2).

Sadly, even the greatest salesmen will never enchant every customer into coughing up that luscious plastic.

Sometimes you have to wave the white flag and bill a bitch.

The problem with billing (beside the fact that you have to wait for your $money$) is that your employer will often “audit” the customer after you close them to “finalize” the sale.

Handing a Discover card to a salesman affirms consent. However, if you bill a customer and she claims she’s never heard of your service, now you have a game of “he said, she said” on your hands.

Therefore, before you get paid the customer must be closed twice: once by you and again by the auditor.

Obviously, you don’t want her flaking.

So, if a customer is being audited do not let her out of your sight before you WRAP IT UP.

“Ok, we will invoice you like last year. In about an hour, someone from our secure data center will be calling you to finalize the scheduling. Is this the best number to reach you? Will you be available in the next hour to answer the phone? Once again, I’m Askari and my direct number is 708-555-5555. Do you have any other questions or concerns? Okay, so again within the next hour they will contact. So, make sure you answer and confirm the service so we can get out there right away when the weather breaks, okay.

Let’s break it down:

  • Confirm call time
  • Confirm phone #
  • Confirm availability to answer said phone
  • Personalize the sale be giving name and #
  • Ask about concerns to test for flaking
  • Reconfirm call time
  • Reconfirm for the 3rd time


It’s amazing how many customers “forget to answer the phone” or become “super busy” without warning or “never receive a call” when you fail to WRAP IT UP.

You better wrap that sale up, B.

How to Be a Sales Champ Part 4: Control the Choices



You’ve persuaded Mrs. Hinojosa to buy six applications of fertilizer and weed control for the 2015 lawn season.

Here comes the fun part:


Now, Lawn Pimps offers three payment options.

1. Pay-as-you-go by invoice (good)

2. Pay-as-you-go by automatic withdrawal (better)

3. Prepay (best)

You hugely prefer options 2 and 3, e.g. , scoring credit card digits, for a couple reasons:

1. Mrs. Hinojosa lives in a sketchy Chicago suburb. Her neighbors chose option 1 and never payed up.

2. $Money$ now is better than $money$ later.

How do you steer this (possibly) liable Latina away from option 1?


Pretend option 1 doesn’t exist:

“Mrs. Hinojosa, I have two great ways to pay this year and both of them include discounts. If you prepay today, I will knock 10% off the entire service. Our second option is the pay-as-you go plan. This makes things very simple. After we do an application, the payment is deducted from your account. With this option I’m able to do the first application for $29.95.”

Which do you prefer?

. . .

I call this the Control Her Choices Close.

Take it for a spin.

Tell me if (1) it works wonders or (2) it is your new favorite close.

How to Be a Sales Champ Part 3: Knowledge is Pay


Strong salesmen know their business like their reflection. If you want to be an expert in the eyes of your customers, you need to . . . be an expert.

Understand what separates your company from the masses. Learn the unique benefits of your service/product. Meditate on how your rivals ain’t shit.


Lawn Pimps

  1. Largest lawn care company in the world
  2. Best products/equipment in the industry
  3. Free soil analysis
  4. State licensed technicians
  5. Products tailor-made to meet customer’s need
  6. Free service calls

Study until you can pen your employer’s Wikipedia page. Then, tackle particular products and services:

LP Maintenance Package:

  • Pre-emergent crab grass control
  • Fertilizer
  • Weed control

LP Health Package:

  • Pre-emergent crab grass control
  • Fertilizer
  • Weed control
  • Grub prevention

LP Complete Package

  • Pre-emergent crab grass control
  • Fertilizer
  • Weed control
  • Grub prevention
  • Aeration
  • Overseeding


  • Enhanced soil water uptake
  • Stronger grass roots
  • Enhanced heat and drought tolerance
  • Better cushioning
  • Hands down the most beneficial lawn service


  • Improved lawn appearance
  • Increased density
  • Fills in turf damage from summer stress, insects and diseases

Make a habit of reviewing your lists until you can recite them like your favorite song.

What was it that Napoleon Hill said about specialized knowledge?

“Before you can be sure of your ability to transmute DESIRE into its monetary equivalent, you will require SPECIALIZED KNOWLEDGE of the service, merchandise, or profession which you intend to offer in return for fortune.”

How to Be a Sales Champ Part 2: Keep it Brief


Brevity is the soul of sales. This is doubly true of cold calling because no one wants to answer the phone and hear a strange windbag urging them to spend money.

The perfect opener is a greeting followed by a single sentence. Two sentences are the absolute max:

“Hello Jackie. This is Askari from Lawn Pimps. I’m scheduling my route for the spring and I want to make sure that once the weather breaks I can get back out there and take care of the grass for you.”


Remember: 95% of people will not buy. Why waste words? Save your A game for the real customers (the ones who show interest).

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