I had a vexing conversation with my sales manager a day ago that left my belief in his reasoning ability a bit rattled.
I had disagreed with his conviction that the corporation he works for feels love for him and thinks of him as family, like a son or a brother, instead of a faceless employee id number to be deleted when he no longer contributing to the bottom line. He refused to believe my argument. That he would not accept my logic but kept trying to correct me and tell me that he was the exception to the rule was somewhat bothersome. To his chagrin I stood firm in my position that the enterprise that pays him “cares” about his quality of life like a tractor “cares” about the spiritual well being of it’s front axles. He still refused to admit he was a cog. He seems to believe that after ten years of service a corporation begins to experience unconditional love for an employee like he was something that it gave birth to. This seemed totally foolish to me. I loose my respect when someone firmly acts wildly moronic and refuses to recognize plain facts.
It may be right that I overreact to such moments. Or it may be right that I’ve been collaborating with the wrong people.
Deliberate self-delusion is a violation against what it means to be a man. It feels like a personal affront, even when it does not involve me. I find it hard not to experience resentment, maybe like the way people are offended by statements critical of the religion they practice when it has nothing to do with them as an individual. It is just too far removed from a productive reality navigating system to be considered tolerable, ethically. I can bite my tongue and clam up, but my endurance is worn, my admiration goes away, and my ability to connect is weakened. Sure, I have some growing to do.
I enjoy my work, but everything in life is about advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are not powerful right now. I will start out for more fertile lands in the course of time.