Askari Rey



Crook County Is Run By Crooked Tax-Happy Crooks

An American citizen pours money out of his wallet into the hands of Uncle Same. This is supposed to represent excessive taxation

Yesterday I wrote a post¬†concerning the possible 30% property tax increase to be levied on Chicago home owners. It’s important to note that this potential $200 million in state-mustered revenue will bring about virtually no positive changes to the city’s abysmal financial situation. The hole is too deep. As The Chicago Tribune reported five years ago:

The total unfunded liabilities for pensions funded by city taxpayers, meanwhile, now hover around $20 billion.

$200 million down. $19.8 billion to go. No worries though. The Department of Finance has a plan. The city will apply a 9% tax to what are being called “electronically delivered amusements”. Don’t you just love the verbiage of official government documents? The electronically delivered amusements being taxed are streaming services like Netflix, Hulu and Spotify. The tax does solely apply to individual consumers enjoying Mad Men on Netflix. The tax rules were written broadly on purpose so businesses that have nothing to do with entertainment (like realtors and attorneys) can be taxed as well. This little scheme is scheduled to go into effect September 1st. They’re calling it the “cloud tax”. How cute. The cloud tax is expected to generate $12 million. $212 million down. $19,788,000,000 to go.

I predict that Crook County will eventually tax city dwellers every time they look or talk about actual clouds.


Crook County Is At It Again

Chicago school teachers on strike

Crook County politicians cannot figure out how to pay the public school teacher pension debt, so they’re considering jacking up Chicago homeowner property taxes by 30%, the maximum increase allowed. Personally, I approve of this tax hike. Some say Chicago teachers do not deserve generous pensions, because the city yields some of the worst performing public schools in the entire nation. I disagree. Contrarians say high school is antiquated and pointless. These myopic antagonists claim that, after 14 years of public school education, students graduate high school with zero valuable skills. They say high schools are nothing more than prisons for children and propaganda factories.

Again, I disagree. High school turns young people into well-rounded adults. Without heroic high school teachers the country would exist in chaos. Ignore the annoying naysayers who like to point out that education majors have alarmingly low IQs. Someone needs to tell these people that being considerably less intelligent than the general population should not disqualify a group from receiving $200 million of property tax money.

Besides, I went to public school and last month I was smart enough to buy a rental property about half an hour outside of the city in Riverdale Illinois where my property taxes are amazingly low. See. The system works.

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